Before another second goes by, let’s address how you are going to deliberately craft your summer with (or without) aging family members. We need to ‘talk’ before your plans are set in concrete.
“It’s what we’ve always done”
Again, we are not necessarily dealing with those of you who willingly choose to devote summer days or weeks with ‘cool’ aging parents. Instead, I’m reaching out to those who secretly yearn to remain as far away from one another as possible. The other side of the world would be good! Still, year over year, you fall into the same trap of agreeing to host your difficult elders or to travel to them or to vacation together in a third location. Bottom-line, my question is why?
“If we didn’t, I’d be a ‘bad’ child”
Sorry! Answers like expectations, historical patterns or your punishing self-talk no longer cut it. I don’t actually know how often I need to repeat it. I mean not to sound harsh. You do NOT need to demonstrate saintly service to somehow ‘prove’ you are a good son or daughter. With truly Un-cope-able Parents, giving over your last drop of blood will amount to pretty much beans. Are you honestly prepared to sacrifice THAT much of your health? Think about it.
“I have nothing better to do with my time anyway”
If this is your rationale, then we have even more work to do here than I thought. What happened to the intentions ‘we’ worked on in January? You identified what nourishes YOU. I doubt that includes giving over all your precious energy to demanding parents. What happened to the dreams you defined for yourself? Are they that abandoned? If so, it’s time to return them to the front burner! How about using your summer to RESTORE yourself?
Give a listen here…
Toward those ends, I can offer two episodes from my weekly radio show, “The Conscious Caregiver”.
Here is the link to Rita Wilkins and me talking about Living without Regret at https://www.spreaker.com/user/bbm_global_network/conscious-care-giver-show-32
In turn, Karen Sands and I focus on Living Agelessly No Matter What at https://www.spreaker.com/user/bbm_global_network/conscious-care-giver-show-41
Both broadcasts are potent. Until we are next in touch, here’s hoping these powerful episodes bring inspiration to your week.
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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