Coping with Un-Cope-Able Parents, Loving Action for Eldercare Coping with Un-Cope-Able Parents, Loving Action for Eldercare
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get real

Get Real

caregiver support coping with uncopeable parents

Indeed, my three-year odyssey has offered countless opportunities to introspect upon my intentions at various phases – for better or worse.

Having just passed the 2010 anniversary of my mother’s passing and marching inevitably toward the 2012 anniversary of my father’s transition, I acknowledge my ulterior motives haven’t been consistently or purely flattering.

The truth told, I admit my under-current desires were often to avoid becoming involved.  In the light of day, I would have loved a magical someone to ride up (in a suit of armor on a stallion?) and divest me of the whole sordid “mess”.

Get real.

Perfect hindsight obviously has me conclude I would have done certain things differently.

It’s a lesson I impart while you still have time to intentionally decide what you would alter in your situation.  Are there some things you would start or stop doing vis-à-vis how you’re handling your elderly ordeal?

No matter how abhorrent it may feel to intervene in the best interests of one or both parents, I’m here to (unfortunately) let you know you’re going to have to.

If you’re waiting for some explicit invitation to step in, you’re going to linger forever.  By definition, Un-cope-able Parents don’t exactly extend the red carpet, permitting you to easily handle their affairs.  Are you joking?

Focus upon what you want to happen.

Returning to Jerry and Esther Hicks, another of their key distinctions regards the “wanted” versus the “unwanted”.

Close cousins to Vibration and Intention, these terms suggest we would be well-advised to focus upon what do want to occur while shepherding our aging folks’ daily lives, as opposed to what we don’t wish to transpire.

The rationale is, wherever you place your attention, you’ll receive exactly that.

Focus upon the unwanted always brings more unwanted.  Don’t I know it!  Every single time I concentrated on the pile-up of unwanted events concerning my Dad, I only experienced more aggravation and anger.  Grrrr…

Reflect upon this…

Though it is perfectly understandable to get sucked into a negative spin when things keep going wrong, I ask that you summon your power of positive intention in exactly those desperate moments.

Only a reframed attitude in the direction of the wanted will draw you out of a downward spiral.

There is great value in dedicating time to identify what you want (i.e., specific images, intentions and feelings).  Keep your brainstorming close at hand, to be referenced when discouraged.

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Carol-Ann Hamilton

Carol-Ann Hamilton

Carol-Ann Hamilton has taken her 25 years of corporate experience and turned it into an issue of personal importance. She is a pioneer-activist on the leading-edge of the exploding aging crisis and seeks to save fellow Sandwich Generation caregivers a fraction of her anguish.
Carol-Ann Hamilton

Latest posts by Carol-Ann Hamilton (see all)

  • “Do Not Pry Into My Business!” - August 9, 2020
  • “I Can Hack It When the Time Comes” - August 1, 2020
  • How Difficult Can “The Talk” Be? - June 20, 2020

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