As the throes of family holiday craziness only escalate, what better time to deal with Un-cope-able Siblings followed by Un-cope-able Festivities? Let’s start with impossible brothers and sisters.
Are You “The One”?
As mentioned on my recent radio show on this topic (The Conscious Caregiver at Bold Brave Media), I defined “The One” as the brother/sister always seen as responsible and trusted within the family unit. Parents likely – even if sub-consciously – nominated that girl/boy from an early age. Fast forward to declining years. I assure you the dynamic will be compounded. It has nothing to do with birth order or geography. You could reside on the other side of the world.
Want Some Key Mindsets?
As the designated ‘child’, we can predict matters will not be pretty for you. You will be constantly placed in the middle of rising drama by both elders and siblings. Are you prepared for a couple of potentially aggravating qualities to bring to the table? One is Openness. This means not entirely shutting down your heart toward annoying siblings. What’s in it for you? Answer: Aplomb. Since you’re ‘it’ (like an awful tag game), might as well you be dignified.
Need Some Practical Actions?
Here we come to the other half of a formula many call “Be + Do = Have”. The mindsets preceding represent BEING. The actions which follow fall squarely into the DOING camp. Initiating action on essential paperwork (i.e., Will, Power of Attorney, etc.) is necessary so that YOU don’t get caught with your pants down. Clarifying all communications is equally vital. Any Un-cope-able Sibling worth their salt will hate you ‘documenting’ them. Do it anyway.
Where Next?
Until we tackle the subject of handling holiday celebrations with toxic aging parents and other relatives, may I offer you a bit of an exercise? Like you have any choice around a coach!
It is founded on a concept called process coaching. On any given circumstance, we can adopt limitless perspectives. Regarding an impossible brother or sister, we can view them as everything from a danger to a nuisance to a sibling (even if less than preferred). The question is: Which angle is the most empowering for you?
Hint: The solution to this riddle is probably located at a higher elevation than you have been operating. I leave you brainstorming in that vein until next time.
Meanwhile, you might want to listen to my radio show archive on this subject at https://www.spreaker.com/user/bbm_global_network/the-conscious-care-giver-show-61
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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