To resume where we left off, I needed to stand up to my father, no matter his blustering reaction to being called on the carpet for his self-centered attitudes. Gosh knows, I have the internal mettle.
Had I done so, Mommy’s final days may have seen less suffering.
Admittedly, it would have taken significant commitment to draw out her flickers of inner wisdom. However, during her more lucid moments on the pathway to decrepitude, I’m 100% certain she could have been willingly persuaded to enter an assisted-living facility.
There’s an under-belly to Intention.
Clearly, she required far-improved care over what was possible in their residence no matter how well-meaning were her daily caregivers.
Recall though, my ulterior motive at the time was to avoid confrontation and involvement at all costs. Thus, I was only too happy to accede to my father’s dictatorial voice. No questions asked.
Do you start to see the importance of examining the underside of one’s actual intentions?
Had my genuine spirit been one of stopping at nothing to ensure the best possible outcome for my mother, a very different conversation would have ensued.
Here’s what was called for.
Let me ask you this: In your career, have you ever encountered times where you’ve been called upon to bring together two corporate warring factions? I have. And, I would access the very same process we used to resolve feuding tension between Sales and Customer Service to cope with your Un-cope-able Parents.
Essentially, we facilitated several meetings – one at which only Service was permitted to air their beefs while Sales listened. At the next, roles were reversed. Only at the third meeting were both entities allowed to engage in two-way dialogue.
Ultimately, it took about four to five sessions to generate a mutually-satisfactory game plan. Even then, ongoing monitoring was required to prevent slippage into unproductive behavior patterns.
What Being states are called for to Advocate?
The entire series was labor-intensive – yet worth it. Everyone bought in and we achieved win-win results all around.
To achieve these outcomes, we needed to remain Neutral and Open to invite every individual’s perspective to the proverbial table.
Had our mediation team been off in Never Land while these critical discussions occurred, it’s a surefire bet the conclusions reached wouldn’t have addressed everyone’s requests.