Stop With What Doesn’t Work!
You’ve tried every trick in the book. Begging. Pleading. Forcing. Manipulating. None of them help.
Is there no way to get through to your pig-headed aging parents? Why can’t they just do what you tell them? You know some important decisions need to be made before it’s too late.
And still they do whatever they please! Life would be so much easier if only they’d cooperate.
In weary resignation, you sigh to yourself: “I guess that’s just the way it is with my folks. They’ll never change.”
On top of it, you feel like you’re going through this horrid ordeal alone.
Want to Know What Is Possible?
Do intense frustration and bitter resentment really need to be your “lot” until all this is over and your parents have passed away?
The answer is NO!!!
What if you could attain these 10 outcomes and/or states of mind?
- You Not Dying! – Sorry to be so blunt! Bet you didn’t know that caregivers have a 63% higher death rate than peers without such burdensome responsibilities. You already (secretly) wonder who will outlive whom. Let’s not have you become a statistic, OK?
- Lowered Disease Risk – Did you also know that caregivers are more subject to chronic illnesses like heart disease, cancer, diabetes and arthritis? That’s not to mention a weakened immune system, slower wound healing, stomach complaints plus symptoms of depression and anxiety. What is it worth to you to not get seriously ill?
- Reduced Stress – Through the safe “sounding board” coaching provides, you gain permission to express ALL your pent-up feelings. Holding them in causes dis-ease. Letting them out takes the lid off your internal pressure-cooker. You need to vent – even explode!
- More Peace of Mind – How would you like to sleep through the night rather than toss and turn for hours stewing over your parents’ latest crazy actions – plus a million other preoccupations? You can awake refreshed and capable to tackle the next challenge.
- Carved-Out Time for YOU – Does even five minutes a day devoted to nourishing activities sound like music to your ears? You really need to “get” that self-care is NOT a self-indulgent luxury! It’s a necessity if you want to stay of service to those around you.
- Safeguarded Family Relationships – Are you aware that 25% of caregivers feel attending to an aging or ill relative played a significant role in their divorce or separation? As a Sandwich Generation member with a growing family and/or valued partner, you don’t want that!
- Courageous Communication Skills – You’re avoiding some VERY difficult conversations like getting your folks to “surrender” the car keys. Correct? Every day you delay makes such “ticking time bombs” worse. What if their dangerous driving kills someone because you didn’t address the “elephant” in the living room sooner?
- Saved Money – Mention having no Last Will & Testament to a lawyer or the fact that you don’t have Power of Attorney to a banker. You’ll reconfirm how costly it is to not have financial or other paperwork in order. Believe me, you won’t like the price of being caught with your pants down – especially if savings are bankrupted.
- Down-to-Earth Solutions – Pat answers simply do NOT work in your ridiculous situation. Puleeze… Give you something more than “this too shall pass”. How about practical advice from someone who has succeeded through unimaginable nightmares at the hands of bullying consumer service bureaucracies?
- Support Over Aloneness – Yes, it’s (perhaps) heroic that you’ve always been the “strong one”. When it comes to eldercare, can we accept that family members, friends and colleagues lack the objectivity to guide you as a neutral professional can?
Pipe dream or reality?
If You Don’t Believe Me,
You Are Gripped by Myths.
If you answer that these benefits of having an experienced resource by your side are impossible while your elderly parents are alive, then you’re honestly in more trouble than I thought.
If you’re feeding yourself any of these five lies, I guarantee you’ll only add to your aggravation and never achieve the caregiving results you strive for.
- “If I wait long enough, I’m sure my problems will clear up on their own.” Have they done so until now? I’m here to warn that things will only decline as your parents’ health and lifestyle fail. You think your situation is bad now; wait a while. It will be worse.
- “I’m sure that once I get Mom and Dad installed into assisted living, all my woes will be over.” Wouldn’t that be lovely? Reality check: Not going to happen!! Whom do you think the facility will call in the middle of the night with a crisis? Answer: Your number.
- “Just give (spoon-feed) me the answers and I’ll do what you say.” I can’t do it for you. Eldercare is a journey of personal discovery. If you want me to take your parents off your hands, I’m not your right coach. My role is to give you the skills/tools to succeed.
- “I don’t want to entrust an ‘outsider’ with my private family issues.” While trying to survive solo is laudable, it’s actually a sign of strength to seek help during this awful life chapter. Stop being so hard on yourself by expecting to do everything on your own!
- “My challenges are unique. What works for others will never apply to me.” No matter your family dynamics, I’ve found impossible aging relatives pretty similar the world over. P.S. I don’t believe in “one size fits all”, so your solutions will inevitably be customized.
Sorry to Burst Your Bubble.
Your reasonable-sounding assumptions (on the surface) are killing your chances of ever stepping into a productive parental relationship.
There’s no shame in admitting the truth of your situation. Believe me. If I hadn’t accessed my coach regularly during my eldercare nightmare, I would NOT have made it.
By no means, do I see myself as a “weak” person who couldn’t cope. That’s what it took to survive!
The only sadness I can see is to believe you’ll discover “the formula” as if by magic. Such an attitude is like the ostrich with his or her head buried in the sand.
Do You Truly Want Things to be Different?
I ask you anew… Are you tired enough of the “same old, same old”?
Here’s how you’ll know you’re ready to shift the caregiving Hell you’re living right now.
You’ve tried all the usual solutions and nothing is working.
You’re desperate enough to do something different.
You realize the longer your painful circumstances linger, the more everyone loses.
You recognize that deteriorating health, increasing stress, arguments at home (resulting from too much time spent caregiving) and non-productivity at work (due to worries over your aging relatives) are costing you big-time.
Something needs to give.
Please Take the First Step.
Are you ready? It’s going to mean reaching out to me for what I call a Readiness Session.
Other coaches call it a Strategy or Discovery Session. Those terms are way too clinical and “corporate speak” when it comes to complex matters like caregiving.
Yes, I realize it takes special courage to reveal to anyone (let alone a stranger) the enormity of the issues you face daily. After all, you’d never want to come across as not coping perfectly. Right? Isn’t that true even when the eldercare marathon is sucking out your every breath daily?
Are you actually proposing, Carol-Ann, that I get on the phone to express how I’m honestly feeling and you won’t judge me? Yes! Are you daring to suggest I can share my despair in utmost safety? Yes!
In over 20 years of coaching experience, I really can’t think of any other way than a confidential exploratory 45-minute phone call to allow us to jointly determine if we’re even a good match when it comes to helping you.
Oh, So You Are Just Trying to Sell Me…
Neither of us have concluded yet when we enter that phone call whether we even want to engage in a coaching relationship. Far from it!
Personally, I view the Readiness Session as my opportunity to determine if the level of your frustration is ENOUGH for you to meet the three qualities of my Ideal Client:
- OPENNESS: Once you understand what my service is and is not, you quickly grasp the value of eldercare coaching by saying something like: “Where have you been all this time? I need this!”
- COMMITMENT: You don’t expect me to “rescue” by arranging parental care on your behalf. If I were to do so, you’d lose the opportunity to strengthen certain muscles and achieve significant healing in the process.
- WILLINGNESS: You regularly engage in personal development. You’re prepared to invest in a resource who has “been there and done it” in practical terms. You’re also prepared to implement the skills, attitudes and tools you learn.
In turn, I would certainly hope you’d be applying your own measures of success for the kind of coach you choose to work with on such delicate issues.
Without putting words into your mouth, may I suggest it would be valuable to look for qualities from a coach like: trustworthy; respectful; credible; mature; experienced; open; reliable; passionate about what they do.
And Now for the Most Dangerous Lie of All…
The one criterion I don’t meet is free!
If that’s what you’re looking for, I’m not the right resource for you.
I believe we’ve already established that simplistic answers don’t cut it for your impossible caregiving situation. If you believe that a booklet picked up at a Seniors Expo or an online course will actually do the trick, then go right ahead and see how that works for you. I predict it will not.
In fact, if you tell yourself you can’t afford any time or money getting on top of your eldercare crisis, then I seriously worry for you.
Because… I thought you essentially told me…
You Have Had Enough!!!
Every night, you drop into bed exhausted. That is, until you wake up at 2:00 a.m. and take two to three hours to fall back asleep because of the million and one eldercare woes rolling through your head. And that’s on a good night…
During the day, there’s barely a minute to breathe. All you do is lurch from one responsibility to another. There’s never enough time. And definitely none just for you!
When you check in with your aging parents – countless times weekly – you dread learning of their latest kooky fiasco. You detest being the one to untangle it all!
Your body and mind show growing signs of wear and tear. You’re acquiring more odd ailments. You don’t know why because you’ve always been the “strong one”. How come you feel like you’re drowning?
I Can Help, but You Have to Want It
As a result of difficult lessons learned about what does and does not work throughout my own grueling eldercare journey, I can virtually guarantee that one of my three Packages will be the right one for you.
That is, IF we FIRST agree we’re the right fit for one another as coach and client. I can have the greatest information in the world, but if we don’t jive, let’s both of us save time and energy straight away.
That’s why I’m going to preview right now the questions you will be filling out on my Readiness Session Contact Form:
- What do you most wish to change about your eldercare situation?
- For what reasons would it be important to make these changes?
- What will happen if you don’t achieve these shifts?
- What prevents you from achieving your preferred parental relationship?
- What tools or resources have you accessed to-date to help with these matters? How have those worked for you?
- On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to doing something about your challenges?
- What are you hoping to gain from a coaching relationship?
- What else is important for me to know?
If you’re intimidated or put off by these questions, may I be so bold as to suggest you’re not really ready to receive coaching?
Let’s Get Started!
If you’re fine with these inquiries – and understand their purpose to allow us to “check out” each other – then here are your instructions to book a Readiness Session.
- To get underway, I invite you to fill out the ‘Book my Readiness Session’ Form.
- When I receive your information, we will book a mutually-convenient time to review what you have submitted.
- During that 45 minutes, you can anticipate my asking some follow-up questions based on what you sent. I will not be coaching you. Rather, I will be listening deeply to make sure your situation “fits” with how I help people.
- If I believe I can successfully support, you can expect me to recommend the best package to serve your specific needs so that we can get started on our coaching journey right away.
As if that weren’t enough, ALL my PACKAGES come with my 100% guarantee that you will receive EVERYTHING I’VE LEARNED for over 50 years in service to your success.
P.S. If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always gotten. What I’m offering you is the easiest, most risk-free way to START RIGHT AWAY on the KEYS TO COPING Package that’s right for YOU. See for yourself how my special techniques and secrets can help you immediately.
P.P.S. While I’m 100% DEDICATED to seeing you triumph, I can’t do it alone. You need to step forward to take advantage of waiting miracles. I beg you. Please don’t sell out on yourself. You truly can’t afford to wait another minute.