Which comes first? Respect or respect? Are you as perplexed by this odd question as participants of my leadership development, performance coaching and communication skills programs have been in corporate Canada for over 30 years? If so, good!I’m about to challenge you to consider whether you accord respect first or whether you wait for it to be demonstrated before you trot out this quality from your repertoire. Either way, I hope to show that you can always display personal leadership regarding respect, no matter what. As such, I invite care providers (who support aging populations) and caregivers alike to consider these distinctions.
What Are the Markers of RESPECT?
May I begin with a pet peeve? How is it that phrases like “please” and “thank you” have virtually left our daily language? You know, I was just in a meeting the other day totally outside the realm of eldercare. Want to hear what one of the conveners suggested? It wastes “administrative time” to send acknowledging emails when a service provider does something nice for us. To that notion, I respond with a stunned “wow”. I add, really???
What Are the Signs of DISRESPECT?
Then, I guess this person would prefer to never offer gratitude, even though most of us secretly wish to feel valued. I gather each party should just ignore time or space boundaries. For example, if a call needs to be placed out-of-hours, it is never fronted with asking whether this is a good time. Simple basics like returning calls/emails are ignored. If anything, communications are disdainful and sarcastic. Don’t we already have enough of that in today’s world?
Questions for Reflection
This week, I don’t just request you to consider these questions – especially #3. I implore you.
- What does respect mean to you personally?
- To what degree can you remain respectful even if you’re not treated with respect? Why or why not?
- On a scale of 1-10, how ready are you to insist upon being treated with respect?
To learn more about how to have respectful interactions, you may wish to consult Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare. Notice the emphasis upon LOVING attitudes as the antidote to dealing with challenging caregiving situations.
Same thing with Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for Eldercare. The second “C” stands for Compassion.
Both are available along with my workbooks and other offerings at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/shop