Coping with Un-Cope-Able Parents, Loving Action for Eldercare Coping with Un-Cope-Able Parents, Loving Action for Eldercare

What is True Care PARTNERSHIP?

Ironically but totally in keeping with today’s theme, I received a desperate outreach last week begging for insight on how to navigate Un-cope-able Medical Systems.  Good luck!

The family doctor is not supporting a diagnosis of incompetence for a clearly-declined mother even though two Registered Nurses have validated the matter.  Then there is trying to figure out the impossible labyrinth of coordinating agencies who embody the claim to bolster family caregivers while regularly offering almost-zero helpful information.  Don’t get me started!

How Should We Define PARTNERSHIP?

Is it just me?  I like to think of partnership as a spirit of give-and-take collaboration.  Certainly, there would be a reassured feeling of being guided through terribly-complex processes such as in-home safety assessments, garnering Personal Support Workers and getting into a long-term care facility (the dire need of this wits-end daughter).  Partnership would definitely not consist of conflicting advice provided by two separate coordinating locations.  Really?

What Is the Opposite of PARTNERSHIP?

If anything, this frustrated caregiver (or you) ought to receive value-adding expertise geared toward your benefit.  Partnership would not look like rote responses borne of trying to secretly fly under the radar of how little responsiveness or service can be provided.  When there is a lack of kindness or compassion, efforts to work together proactively are pretty much ignored.  It’s like they zoom straight above the agency’s or individual’s head!

Questions for Reflection

To assist you in defining what PARTNERSHIP means to you, here are a few questions to get you started:

  1. In what aspects of caregiving do you think you need special guidance and/or hand-holding?
  2. When you don’t understand something or what to do, what will you do to gain clarity?
  3. What positive difference could care partners’ value-adding suggestions make to your journey? Knowing that answer, what will you do to communicate your needs?

Next Steps

Next time around, we’ll examine Loyalty.  It’s about the dedication to actively and willingly accompany the weary caregiver.  Like the old Stand by Me song says…

To learn more about how I countered non-partnership-oriented bureaucracies, check out my book, Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for Eldercare at www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com.  There, you will discover what I went through in trying to get my parents’ family doctor of over 30 years to help me “do something” to support my dying Mom.  I also comment on the run-around I suffered trying to gain my Dad’s medical cause-of-death records from the hospital so that such an unfortunate fate never befalls you.

While you’re at it, I invite you to book a Readiness Session to see how I can help in your caregiving situation.

 

 

 

 

Carol-Ann Hamilton

Carol-Ann Hamilton

Carol-Ann Hamilton has taken her 25 years of corporate experience and turned it into an issue of personal importance. She is a pioneer-activist on the leading-edge of the exploding aging crisis and seeks to save fellow Sandwich Generation caregivers a fraction of her anguish.