So, are you ready to venture into the next letter of the COMPLETE SUPPORT Manifesto of Caregiver Rights to denote the treatment you deserve? It’s ‘O’ for Openness. Believe me, that question was never more relevant than this week.
Alone, three friends had dealings with doctors and hospitals whereby two are about to enter the ultra-complex labyrinth called Canada’s Healthcare Model. Did I just say that out loud? Yes. I shall be tracking their experiences with hawk-like vigilance to witness how much Openness they encounter from professionals supposedly there to strengthen them.
OPENNESS Should Be Obvious but It’s not
Bottom line, Openness is a willingness to work with you while striving to provide care to an aging parent/relative (or significant other, friend, neighbor or even colleague). Shouldn’t that be a given to receive from a professional whose job it is to offer compassion and more? You’d think so. That’s my point. During my stressful ‘adventures’ attempting to support my ailing father, a “How Can I” attitude was so far from missing it was practically non-existent!
Here’s the Opposite of OPENNESS
For now, you will recognize a NON-open mindset by the multiple justifications about what ‘they’ can’t (won’t) do for you. In fact, you often feel like you have to jump through hoops to get anything done through the ‘system’. The one who yells (literally) for service gets attention. That’s how strong the resistance is to partnering. Really? Surely I exaggerate. OK, we’ll talk another time about the carefully-hidden term, bed blockers, and then you can tell me…
Questions for Reflection
As promised, here is your trio of questions to ponder between now and next time:
- What does a “How Can I?” (versus “I Can’t”) attitude mean to you?
- Where else in your life does it take ‘kicking and screaming’ to get your legitimate needs met? That’s even beyond caregiving contexts.
- For how much longer are you willing to tolerate such disinterest and reluctance?
Where are we going next? Our topic will be Maturity. That should be a good one! It’s about not being a game player for those who claim to serve caregivers.
For today, I think Tommy Smothers of the 1960’s comedy duo, The Smothers Brothers, said it very well: “You can talk all you want about freedom of speech, but it’s freedom of hearing that counts.” Did you hear what he just said? If you did, you are someone who also recognizes that the words ‘silent’ and ‘listen’ contain the same letters. Think about it.
Until we return, please tune into my radio show, The Conscious Caregiver, at www.boldbravemedia.com. We are currently talking about the six LOVING Attitudes to eldercare success.