Now that Mother’s Day is behind us and Victoria Day weekend has been celebrated in Canada while Memorial Day is being honored in the U.S., let me return to the manifesto of COMPLETE SUPPORT I propose for weary caregivers worldwide. No, make that demand.
Enough already with the bullying and bureaucratic institutions, agencies and consumer service providers who claim to support aging populations but are nowhere to be found when you need them most. Do you know, I can practically utter that string in my sleep! Yesterday, a friend shared how so-called medical Privacy Laws are being used against her while striving to advocate for her ailing father. Tell me about it L
What is CARING Anyway?
To refresh, my unique and COMPLETE acronym for the type of support caregivers deserve stands for: Caring; Openness; Maturity; Partnership; Loyalty; Excellence; Tribe; and Exacting. It is a set of attitudes and mindsets which those who work in the eldercare sphere are being called forth – by yours truly – to embody. Caring can be recognized by the palpable tone of warmth these human beings carry in their voices. You come away bolstered from your interactions.
What Is Not CARING?
In turn, zero pleasantries accompany conversations with uncaring service providers. You leave dialogues feeling deflated. Ever had that happen to you? Nothing makes you feel special or important. You’re treated as ‘just another caretaker’ on my already-overloaded plate. Do you hear the silent go-away? I do. Bottom-line, no one feels or sounds delighted to be supporting YOUR needs – never mind those of relatives’.
Questions for Reflection
As we go along, I will supplement my definitions of what each quality or action is and is not with three questions to ponder. Here is your trio for today:
- Besides the mindsets and behaviors mentioned, how would you know you’re being cared for by those you’ve hired or sought out to support what you need to get done during the grueling marathon called eldercare?
- When you don’t experience caring, what emotions rise in you? What do you think and say to yourself?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how prepared are you to insist upon being treated with CARING? Why or why not?
Next Steps
Next time around, we’ll address the topic of Openness. For me, that refers to a willingness to work with you and not against you.
As a cherished CEO who passed away at the untimely age of 63 declared years ago: You can’t teach caring. No kidding. Wiser words were never said. Practical skills associated with the business’ or agency’s operation can be taught. If the individual lacks fundamental kindness, watch out. Trust me, it will be an uphill battle to even invite them to change. Do you really want to take that on besides your other stressors?
Until we return, please tune into my radio show, The Conscious Caregiver, at www.boldbravemedia.com.
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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