Thank you so much to all of you who bore witness to the Memories, Lessons and Insights of the one-year anniversary of my father’s passing on August 26th.
It was a great privilege and honor to impart my experiences. Since, more than one person in my circles who has contended with un-cope-able parents (or still is) has thanked me for the difference these posts made.
The main feedback centered upon gratitude that someone would actually dare express relief over burdens lifted after surviving the grueling marathon difficulteldercare is. As always, my intention is liberation of thoughts or feelings you haven’t permission to access elsewhere.
It’s time to return to Be-Do-Have.
Given it’s a while since we reviewed the 12 Keys to Coping, how about we do that now?
So far, we’ve covered in some depth the 6 LOVING Attitudes – Laughter, Openness, Vibration, Intention, Neutrality and Grace.
Via so many book interviews for months’ running, hosts have consistently stated what an insight it is to deliberately choose the (positive) qualities and traits we wish to embody around impossible aging relatives.
I say, really? Though my struggles were certainly countless in learning to cope with my mulish father, the notion that success is founded upon BEING – first and foremost – was not one of them.
At the same time, without eventually DOING something about the challenging pair, nothing is going to change, is it? As in life, it’s a matter of balance.
What does ACTION stand for?
A = Advocate
C = Clarify
T = Trust
I = Initiate
O = Observe
N = [I]Nnovate
What we’re essentially saying is, “doing for doing’s sake” will not prove effective as a strategy by itself. Yes, there’s a temporary sense of command in taking “control”.
In the long run, though, it’s only after you’ve consciously reflected on HOW you prefer to be with your folks that you ought to even think about the ACTION called for.
Remember: We’re talking targeted effort here.
Now, just as I’m pretty sure there’s little formal documentation devoted to your internal state-of-being regarding Un-cope-able Parents in the manner described here, so too am I convinced my recommended actions aren’t particularly elaborated within traditional literature on the subject.
Let’s go ahead and break down this second acronym, shall we?