Last week, we initiated this series called “Carol-Ann’s Top 10 Caregiver Lessons” with three strategies for how to survive eldercare craziness. Are you ready for one of the most common questions my coaching clients ask?
I call it wanting to frankly ram your solutions down your parents’ throats because you know best! All I can say is, how’s that strategy working for you so far? Probably not so much… How about we try these three anti-dotes instead?
“I know in the deepest places of my interior what is called for in their situation and they will have none of it.”
Don’t give up! What might seem impossible to resolve at one point can suddenly break through wondrously in another moment. Evidence my father’s earlier obstinacy on the cleaning front. They don’t say patience is a heavenly trait for nothing. Remember: Everything on this Earth plane unfolds according to Divine Timing. Often, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, certain elements must fall into place before others can come to fruition. Do not rush the sequence.
“I feel like I’ve attempted every available device known to humanity and yet I make zero headway in influencing them.”
May I quote from Doreen Virtue’s guidebook to Healing with the Angels: Oracle Cards? “Surrender & Release” is the perfect message here. When you hold on tightly to a troubling situation like obstinate eldercare, it has no room to transform. If, on the other hand, you focus on not always trying to control outcomes, you may be astounded over miraculous healing opportunities that seem to drop into your lap. The art is being willing to let go.
“Why do I have to demonstrate Super-Human perseverance to prevail?”
To countermand the dogged behavior we adult children can fall into, what if you were to identify what you imagine your father or mother must change to make you happy? What must your relative shift before you can be content? Challenge: How about creating your own happiness, regardless? In that fashion, you lift up from hopeless deadlocks and free up energy for innovative ideas. You can’t manipulate them anyway. Save your sanity.
Your Turn!
Today’s offering is extracted from Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare. Within, you will find an A to Z list of my ill-fated attempts that will never work around stubborn aging relatives.
Add it to your Cart at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/shop/. While there, you may want to check out my 3-month coaching package called “Manage Your Eldercare Stress Quick-Start”.
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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