My curiosity is peaked.
What did you think and feel about the idea of LOVING ACTION to survive even the most Un-cope-able Parent? Was it too simplistic? Perhaps it was – at first blush.
Remember, though, when all else fails, the most evident and untried strategies can finally prove key to unlocking the secrets of impossible-elder success.
Be-Do-Have is the sequence.
Do you notice something about the 6 LOVING Attitudes – Laughter, Openness, Vibration, Intention, Neutrality and Grace?
Correct! They represent states of BEING. Especially in fast-paced societies that over-emphasize DOING, we forget all productive action ought to be preceded by consistent and deliberate intent. Embodying consciously-selected qualities and traits is what allows you to stay centered during even nerve-wracking exchanges.
The prescribed sequence to flow through is:
- Be. First, intentionally hold and demonstrate positive feelings plus beliefs toward your parents. Remember, we’re practicing LOVING here!
- Do. Then, perform the requisite actions. I know it’s tempting to take any action at all some days to gain the temporary relief of being in command. Admittedly, you’ll avoid “analysis paralysis”. However, charging ahead blindly without reflection won’t generate your desired results in the long run. If anything, ill-considered deeds can quickly make your horrific situation worse!
- Have. Only after choosing your attitudes plus doing what’s necessary to align with your Highest Self should you anticipate accomplishing (over time) the quality of care and relationship you seek for and with your loved ones. Remember, we’re talking Un-cope-able Parents! Even my father used to say, the impossible can be achieved, but it takes a little longer. Being 500% stubborn, no one knew better than the man!!
Laughter really is the best medicine.
All I know for sure is that Laughter alone went a very long distance toward guaranteeing these shifted outcomes with my own uncooperative duo:
- Calm and peace in the face of escalating crises;
- Transformation from initially-controlling to detached yet loving behaviors;
- Carefully-chosen thoughts and feelings that serve everyone’s highest interests;
- Presence and availability to aging folks’ growing needs without sacrificing mine in the process.
Undoubtedly, recalcitrant elders can so drive a person over the edge, we fear becoming as loony as they strike us!
Isn’t it true? What you deal with day in day out can be ludicrous. Try explaining to those who don’t “get” it. Quite possibly, they’d think you’re the zany one. Good grief!
Locate the laughter, or you’re in peril.
Next time, I look forward to sharing Janet’s story. Though serious, it’s simultaneously humorous.