“I’d like to thank the Academy for…”
Is it not true? Tell me how many days it feels like dealing with impossible aging parents every bit resembles some kind of kooky theatrical performance. Perhaps more aptly we should say a horror film!
First presented in 1929, The Academy Awards ceremony (or The Oscars as it was rebranded in 2013) annually honors cinematic achievements in the film industry. The statuette various category winners receive is officially called the Academy Award of Merit.
Tell me you don’t feel like you should receive an arm-load of Awards of Merit of your own for surviving the duo! Here are three more parallels with eldercare.
When Are You a Star?
You know, one of my favorite all-time sessions to facilitate in corporate Canada was called the Personal Growth Planning Workshop. Leaders and team members attended together to develop plans founded upon the individual’s strengths. I therefore ask: What is a strength or positive trait you bring to the table when supporting your folks? Don’t claim you have none! Everyone has at least one; more accurately more than one. Mine was intuition.
What “Lines” Require More Study?
At the same time, we each possess areas of development or opportunity. Notice I didn’t say “weaknesses”. I reject the term. Too much in our hyper-critical society reinforces everything people are not. Many of my coaching clients wish they were better at influencing and persuading skills. They lack confidence to have necessary courageous conversations. My Achilles heel was impatience – keeping a lid on what I really wanted to say!
Which is Your Favorite Role?
Even though I’m an only child, you know immediately what I mean… Each family member seemingly falls into their part. Often, this is totally sub-conscious and “assigned” by siblings or the parents themselves. I see: extras blending into the crowd; stunt men or women swooping in for heroic effect; supporting and “best” actor/actress roles. Then, there is the director, producer, cinematographer plus multiple contributors. I performed all of them.
What Will Your Award Be For?
That latter statement is not just because there were no other relatives stepping forward to assist with my crushing burden. Most everyone I talk to with brothers or sisters tells me there’s always “one” – frequently forced – to assume the “starring” role. I personally find such expectations patently unfair!!
Transparently, I don’t mind admitting I went from frankly hating both my elders (especially my mother) to being able to comport both their eulogies with compassionate integrity.
My Award of Merit would thus be for “Grace & Dignity” in seeing my parents through their transitions. Given my starting sentiments, that was no small victory.
If you choose to rise up to your Best Self through this pivotal life stage, I invite you to book a complimentary exploratory coaching session at support@carolannhamilton.com
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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