Do you burn tons of energy “psyching up” to deal with your impossible aging parents but still feel like pulling out your hair? Do you regularly clamp down on what you really want to say to the difficult duo? Are you physically and emotionally exhausted by them?
In this brand new year, you get to determine how the next 365 days will go. Are you genuinely ready to release those mindsets? To get clear, you need to honestly answer three vital questions.
Is Your Motivation a “Should” or a Want?
Curious why 4 of 5 people will break the promises they set on December 31st and 90% will have thrown in the towel by March 1st? New Year’s Resolutions DON’T work! The eldercare version of eating better and exercising more is: “I should call and/or visit more often, not be so impatient and try to understand them better”. Feeling jazzed? Not if you have annoying folks! That’s because resolutions are often based on what we “should” do – not what we WANT.
Do You Truly Seek to Change Your Relationship?
Of course you wish you enjoyed better parental interactions!! How could I be so “silly” as to ask? For one, 33% of resolution-breakers weren’t even committed to their goals out of the gate. Second, did you realize you’re obtaining an energetic “boost” from all that negativity? Don’t I know it! On my worst days, I complained to 10-plus friends! Is there a hidden part of you who basks in sympathy and doesn’t frankly wish to change that dynamic?
What Will You Focus On This Year?
You may be aware we each have 60,000 to 75,000 thoughts per day. Via the Laws of Attraction, we draw to us whatever we concentrate upon. Return to the gym analogy: If we think often enough of not wanting to be “fat”, we create the very conditions to stay “fat”. Over to unruly elders: If you consistently send out “vibes” about not wanting to feel so frustrated, it’s not hard to picture what you’ll get back. More reasons to feel frustrated, right?
If You Are Ready for 2019 to be Different…
To get out from underneath self-punishing New Year’s Resolutions traps and into willingly-chosen Intentions, it’s essential to find a positive WHY for shifting.
That could include: maintaining your precious health; safe-guarding your key relationships with your partner, children or friends. As an employee or entrepreneur, it’s vital to keep your bank account thriving, yes? Your reason also has to be BIGGER than the adrenaline “payoff” you’re getting.
To start shifting from burden to relief, schedule your Confidential Free Readiness Session with me at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/book-my-readiness-session/.
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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