Our last couple of blogs have focused on “The Mixed Bag of Family Summers” and “How to Survive Extended Family Vacations”. The first addresses the underlying emotional dynamics that render summer holidays spent with aging parents so crazy-making. The second offers practical coping strategies – whether they’re staying with you, you with them or traveling together to a third location.
I truly hope you are benefitting from this timely and rich content at: https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/blog/how-to-survive-extended-family-vacations/ Next we return to our COMPLETE SUPPORT acronym in service to overwhelmed caregivers everywhere.
How Should We Define LOYALTY?
For me, loyalty is sincere dedication to actively and willingly accompany the weary caregiver. Your support team (examples include in-home agencies, assisted living facilities, doctors, other professionals) has YOUR back. Questions are welcome. You’re not ‘bugging’ them if you ask. If anything, they proactively check in to see if you’re OK. Within reason and without violating their boundaries, arrangements exist to reach them after-hours for important matters.
What Is the Opposite of LOYALTY?
Certainly, the polar opposite of such accompaniment is to feel dropped like a hot potato – especially once they have your money! The same care and attention that existed while ‘courting’ your business do not maintain throughout the duration of your relationship. Issues you need help with are suddenly deemed outside their responsibilities when they used to be perfectly in-scope. Communication and follow-through are neither active nor two-way.
Questions for Reflection
To assist you in defining what LOYALTY means to you, here are a few questions to start off:
- What is the right amount of follow-up for you (i.e., not too much and not too little)?
- What signs will you use to spot that you’re falling through the cracks?
- How will you respond if you’re sensing a provider wants to ‘get rid of’ you before they have properly fulfilled their accountability?
Next Steps
Let me remind you, folks. I have LIVED all letters pertaining to the lack of COMPLETE SUPPORT acronym. Alone, the missing loyalty demonstrated by an agency (which had helped my ailing mother) when I desperately needed their services for my declining father was beyond the pale. The woeful tales and what to do about them are captured in my book, Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for Eldercare.
Better yet, how about we hop on the phone or Skype so I can help you avoid the nightmares altogether via the right coaching package for you at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/coaching/
Carol-Ann Hamilton
Latest posts by Carol-Ann Hamilton (see all)
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- “I Can Hack It When the Time Comes” - August 1, 2020
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