As spiritual teacher and former clinical psychologist, Ram Daas, says in his book by the same title: “Be here now.”
Easier said than done for caregivers and care providers alike! Each face so many competing daily priorities, it’s challenging (to say the least) to remain focused on everything that needs to get done. Still, there are some distinct things that service providers can do to ease stress for all concerned.
What Denotes Lack of PRESENCE?
First off, here are some danger signs to watch for. While essential to your success, your representative is frequently unreachable. To get anything done, it often feels like you need to leave multiple voice- or e-mails before you hear back. Often “out of the office”, you wonder if they resigned and no one told you! Either way, you sure do not feel valued or attended to. You feel overlooked, unimportant and dismissed.
What Is PRESENCE?
On the other hand, with a PRESENT care provider, you can energetically feel and hear your representative focusing when you speak, even if that is by phone. That’s because the person has taken time to eliminate distractions before and while you converse. No matter their personal circumstances, they’re available to your critical needs. If for any reason unable to perform, they reassign your account – but not before introducing you to a new representative!
Questions for Reflection
To advance your thinking about what presence means to you, how would you respond to these reflections?
- What verbal and non-verbal signals will you watch/listen for to confirm the other person is ‘present’ (even by phone)?
- How far do you need to go if your care provider is not ‘available’ to your needs (hint: to the top of the house)?
- In turn, when you prepare for interactions, how will you eliminate distractions or lack of focus on your part?
P.S. You may also want to look into Dass’ book called Still Here: Embracing Aging, Change and Dying. It’s a good one!
That doesn’t preclude checking out the books and workbooks on my website, www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com. There, you can also arrange your free Readiness Session to determine how I can best serve you. Of course, my weekly live radio show at www.boldbravemedia.com/shows/the-conscious-caregiver/ is another way to access wisdom plus tools to support your caregiving journey.