Yesterday would have been the birthday of my paternal grandfather. Undoubtedly, he spent many a Father’s Day acknowledging his arrival as well as the general occasion. Passed-away in 1964, Grandpa would be a very remote memory if not for my father’s and cousin’s stories.
Thankfully, I’ve gained some genuine perspectives about the man who gave me life leading up to and after his own transition in 2012. I offer them with integrity here.
I Was Wanted
Despite how agonizing it was to grow up with an alcoholic father during my formative years, I never doubted that he was thrilled over my pending arrival. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time my Daddy recounted the story of my birth and his proud announcement with the church congregation that Sunday morning, I would be infinitely wealthy. Mind you, my mother silently rolled her eyeballs. She is heard because it’s not like he went through the labor!
I Was Nurtured
You would think mother is the figure with whom you first bond. Not necessarily. I was a colicky baby. Any parent out there is already silently thinking: “Oh, oh. Poor parents of Carol-Ann!” While not a Mom, I get it. Legion are the accounts of trying to lull me into slumber only to have me wake screaming moments later. Yikes. To his credit, my Dad is the one who held me for hours close to his heart. My mother never figured out breast-feeding. Go figure.
I Was Guided
For sure, it’s a mixed blessing to be a school principal’s daughter. On the positive side, you have access to learning resources other classmates may not possess. On the down side, you may be dealing with an impatient Dad who wants you to outstrip ‘competitor’ fathers by gaining straight A’s. I did the latter. Man! How stressful. At the same time, I enjoy how thrilled he was over my authorship, entrepreneurship and more. My largest FAN!!!
What Can You Be Grateful For?
I guess it all comes down to what you choose to focus on.
Without a doubt, whole stretches of years were consumed while silently railing under my breath: “If it weren’t for you being the cause of all my woes…” These days, I tend to view my Dad as a human being subject to his own brand of foibles and gifts.
If you want to learn more about how I genuinely healed so much of our history, please sign up for a Confidential Readiness Session at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/book-my-readiness-session/
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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