At this point, I trust we have added some tools to your kit about how to get things done with and for your aging parents when everything seems an uphill battle. Still, it would be understandable if you’re feeling somewhat discouraged. How about support on that front? Ready to help!
Toward that end, we are naming this fourth installment in “Carol-Ann’s Top 10 Caregiver Lessons” hanging in there through eldercare. Indeed, I will never apologize for calling this experience grueling. Not if you’re the product of Un-cope-able Parents! So, what to do?
You never know when a Miracle will reveal itself out of the blue.
Perhaps there is not so much to do but instead more to be. North Americans are especially poor about hardly ever stopping. This is a huge problem. If you do not pause – particularly during the throes of caregiving – you will fail to notice little miracles dropping into your lap. A stranger might buy you a coffee in line. Maybe you receive a welcome break from an agency you normally find bureaucratic like the DMV. Such gestures can engender hope.
Joy arrives in small increments at unexpected moments.
Building on the above, a key quality we burdened Sandwich Generation members can bring to the table is openness. The Universe (or term of your choice) regularly strives to draw your attention. My joy arrived on the last day I was working with the Extreme Cleaning Team I’d hired to help me clear my parents’ hoarders house. Suddenly, they located a box of photos from their early years I had no idea existed. What a priceless (and healing) treasure trove!
Gratitude as a way-of-being and a practice accompanied me long before the eldercare nightmare and it will be with me for the remainder of my intended 59 years. I am 61. Truth be told, it has been my one consistent practice for almost two decades. I record five sources daily. These can encompass gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. To stretch, how about you write out three things to be thankful for regarding your worst parental experiences of the day?
Did you just read right? You’ve got to be kidding! Stay with me. I have a tool to help. It is called The Pissed Off Journal. It is your private place to Record, Release and Re-focus the annoying events of daily life such that you reduce stress and regain the ability to tackle what’s on your plate.
Find the journal at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/shop/. I’ll autograph your copy and coach you how to maximize the resource.