Canadians recently enjoyed our first long-holiday of the ‘summer’ called Victoria Day. Americans are currently celebrating Memorial Day. My next blog will focus on deliberately crafting this season with (or without seeing) aging family members. For now, any of you who are already entertaining parents or visiting them, please bear in mind these peace-creating strategies.
At Their Home
Let’s refresh. We’re primarily talking about parents with whom you’d prefer to spend zero hours together in your heart of hearts. Yet, here you are. It might seem you have little control. Yet, there remain some sly ways to look as though you’re devoting quality hours while you’re really not. Want an idea to get you started? Puzzles! Many of my peers contentedly place Mom/Dad before the scattered pieces for hours while checking in periodically.
In Your Home
Your environment happily expands the options. Movies and popcorn! A chance to take in a film (or more) you’ve been wanting to stream anyway. Late night as it will become, let’s take an afternoon nap. Upon waking, back to the puzzle or game you’ve set up in your home. Are you starting to get my drift? You sit with them just long enough to appear ‘present’… Oops, time to get dinner started! Folks, enjoy your favorite TV shows until then!
Within Your Inner World
Mind you, I FULLY realize it’s not nearly that smooth with stubborn elders who expect you to do what they want and who constantly invade your boundaries. That was my father. Even then, hockey games (which we both enjoyed) can account for a lot of hours yelling at referees rather than feeling forced to chat. What are your equivalents? As well, here’s a key question. What can you do and say inside yourself to stay peaceful no matter how annoying they are?
Your Mission – Should You Choose to Accept It
Isn’t that what Jim Phelps signed up for in the original “Mission Impossible”? Tell me it isn’t like an insurmountable task to deal with Un-cope-able Parents! That’s why I’m assigning you some homework between now and soon. LOL.
Please take a careful look at why you’re already forfeiting even a portion of your first precious three or four days off after the grueling winter to be with challenging relatives. Is this truly the way you want your summer to go? I doubt it.
We are going to change up your automatic assumptions and guilt-based decisions. In the meantime, you may want to take in this episode from my weekly radio show, “The Conscious Caregiver” on the topic of setting appropriate boundaries at https://www.spreaker.com/user/bbm_global_network/conscious-care-giver-show-5