Equally, this post could be called: “Is it too late to have a perfect childhood?” Did you just read right?
Bear with me. In March, we talked a lot about letting go and spring cleaning. In April, we’ll advance these renewal themes by also weaving in stories from my caregiving nightmares. All this is with ultimate transformation and healing in mind.
Impossible!
For certain, anyone who has grown up in a toxic family will legitimately find our experiences so far from perfect it’s not even funny! As my parents declined, issues I had prayed were over returned squarely to my doorstep. Longing for complete freedom from past horrors, it felt like a new prison was squeezing in around me. Can you relate? I’m sure you can. It’s why I name that first painful stage of the eldercare journey “Desperation and Victimhood”.
Maybe?
Over time, I had to call on incredible inner strength to deal with one crisis after the other. In fact, it took two to three years of intensive inner work to shift my outlook during the second stage I call “Adult Service and Compassion”. Though I accept the significant lessons mastered during this period developed me as a human being, I remain unconvinced that it was an honor to be up to my elbows in grime cleaning my father’s chosen living conditions.
Possible.
On the other hand, I can honestly declare that I have opened to surprising hidden gifts while supporting my formerly alcoholic father and paranoid schizophrenic mother. No martyrdom here! Rather, I’ve arrived at peace regarding the passing of my folks in 2010 and 2012. Each was 89 when they transitioned. Thus, I term the third phase of the eldercare marathon “Zero Regrets”. By no means was it an overnight process to shift from burden to grace.
It’s Not Too Late!
Just for today, my parting point is this: Though our instant success society would have you heal too quickly and artificially from past traumas, you need not. Everyone has their own journey.
On the other hand, if you wish some additional support, I have two suggestions. You can check out my weekly live Conscious Caregiver radio broadcast on “Caregiving as a Healing Opportunity” at www.boldbravemedia.com.
Even better, to start benefitting today from the mindsets and attitudes that will actually support you in shifting from Desperation to Inspiration to Hope, book your confidential Free Readiness Session at https://www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com/book-my-readiness-session/. Are you ready?
Carol-Ann Hamilton
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