How is 2020 going so far with respect to Coping with Un-cope-able Parents? Did you survive the holiday season? No matter your answer, “The Wit’s End Caregiver” remains the place where you get grounded solutions that combine the practical and emotional aspects of how to care for your elders unlike the typical content out there.
To start off this season, it came to me via my own Annual Reflections process to place the last decade into something resembling context. Ready? Here we go.
How well I remember Sunday evening, February 7, 2010. It was the start of The Parental Nightmare. For the first time ever, my father admitted he was not managing well with my mother’s growing ailments. That which I had successfully fended off by escaping a growing-up household characterized by Dad’s alcoholism and Mom’s paranoid schizophrenia was about to come full circle. Any dreading adult child who has always been The Responsible One will relate.
That’s how the past decade started, though she was showing studiously ignored signs of decline in 2009. Despite Mommy’s passing in April, my father mercifully prevailed. Even the first half 2011 was sort of manageable – but barely. By November, his driving was becoming alarming. It was a horror show to set up essential protections like joint account banking and Will updating. Daddy died in-hospital August 2012 while I prepared their hoarders on steroids house for sale.
You would think that turning keys in the locks of the restored home I grew up for the last time in April 2013 would constitute a major victory and closure. It did. Intense relief was my main state. However, by NO means did this conclude The Marathon. Unbelievable amounts of paperwork confronted me. Having held an ultra-stressed ‘inhale’ for over three excruciating years (never mind 250,000 previous hours), I was hardly breathing never mind exhaling.
Next Time Around
And that leads me straight into announcing an upcoming blog series called “Carol-Ann’s Top 10 Caregiver Peeves”.
By peeves, I mean themes that those who care for aging parents or other relatives, friends, neighbors and even colleagues refuse to GET until they’re in the thick of things. Indeed, if I could wave a magic wand, my number one wish would be for you to gain from my harsh lessons BEFORE it’s too late.
Perhaps listening to my radio archives will give you some inspiration until next week at…